CLARE - MY LOCKDOWN

I am writing this at 4am having another night of broken sleep. I’m finding that I am having good nights and bad just like the days. Every day feels different. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed, anxious, emotional, mentally tired, other times I have loads of energy.

I am writing this at 4am having another night of broken sleep. I’m finding that I am having good nights and bad just like the days. Every day feels different. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed, anxious, emotional, mentally tired, other times I have loads of energy. I think we just have to go with that and allow ourselves to go with the flow - a large element of control has been taken from us. We all have our worries and stresses on different personal levels and I feel now is the time for me to take control of the smaller things that can make a difference to life once we eventually begin to return to normal.

So in addition to my role at Bradford and Howley I am fortunate to have an art studio at home where I can paint. However in the last couple of years, whilst renovating my house and juggling family life, I’ve recently struggled to find the time to get in the studio perhaps only doing a day a week. So the situation we find ourselves in has shifted my pattern of work and given me a huge opportunity to get more hours for painting. Limited by funds for new materials I’ve prioritised finishing off paintings I’ve had on the go for a while or painting over old pieces and taking photographs once they are complete. My work is quite dark and can be messy as I use oils and often use sandpaper. I’m not one for strong colour - not in my life at all, I find it rather chaotic, my dress and home also reflect this. I get bored with colour too quickly - it doesn’t hold longevity for me. Now I’ve sorted through existing work, I've started working on some smaller pieces and I am going to try and free up a little and be less precious with some works on paper.

Usually I sell my work at local exhibitions but, of course, these have all been cancelled. My website was old so I’ve taken this down and I am constructing a new one that I can self manage. This will eventually be my selling platform. My work is not commercial and some friends have recently suggested I should do some bright work to respond to the times we are in. I feel I am unable to do this. It’s a mental block to me as I would be painting for someone else's emotions. My dilemma is, whether I should make my work more commercial and less personal. I’ve still not got the answer to this, maybe it should be that I do both. My work can currently be seen on my facebook and instagram accounts @clarecammackartist.

I’ve noticed a few friends around me, including my mother, have started to pick up pencils or paints that they have had in the cupboard for years. If you feel inclined to do so, give it a go. You can use any bits of paper you have, brown wrapping paper is a favourite of mine and rolls of plain wallpaper. Also both of these are brilliant, if you have small children, to keep them occupied. I used to roll the paper out in the garden and let them have a riot with paints (remember to put them in old clothes). Mine used to love lying down on the paper and being drawn around then they can colour or collage it in. The other old favourite was making wrapping paper with the brown paper- using stampers or splattering the painting or blowing through straws.

I’m actually finding the time is whizzing by and my list of things to do around the house and garden is still huge! I am going to paint as much as I can, dusting the cheese plant can wait. So to all of you ... take one day at a time and stay safe.